Thursday, September 14, 2006

Tattoo you

Last night I walked out of work at 4:45, drove through enraging traffic on the bike (think straddling a household radiator with a couple grip exercise grip thingies in your hands), went home and threw together some red beans and rice which I devoured in five minutes only to drive back up the street to the Red Cross in Quincy for CPR training.

The teacher was late, had a weird limp, and looked like one of those good luck troll dolls that bingo women line up on their tables.

The videos were hilarious. A whiney woman named Connie (perfect whiney name) and a strapping black dude named... I forget walked you through cheesey enacted injury scenarios. Then we had to recreate them step by step. Actually act out.

The kid I got partnered up with was Scott, a cross eyed civil engineer who looked like he dressed himself from an LL Bean catalog from 1984. Scott had to find the spot to deliver "back blows" when I pretended to choke. Then the poor dude had to perform mock Heimlich on me. When it came time to switch I didn't bother touching him. I gave my mother the Heimlich when I was about 13 or so. It was out of some bad t.v. show. The food even flew across the room. I was all set finding Scott's navel and performing "abdominal thrusts" on him.

We used dummies and they were creepy as hell. Think Michael Myer's mask but with a slight Mona Lisa grin. Oh and they had nipples which I thought appropriate to tweak while I stared at Scott.

After acting out scenarios on the dummies "Buddy you alright?... SCOTT CALL 911!!" in my best Charlton Heston overracting voice for a couple hours, I got my little card.

This is the final class needed for my tattoo apprenticeship at Pino Bros in Cambridge.

In other news I finally got a (free) copy of Dreamweaver on my mac and today I brought it and... uh.. season2dvdsofLost... with me to my boring white guy office job. SO. Hopefully within a month or so I'll have a full fledged website for my art, music, dick and fart jokes, underwear modeling... etc.

Stay tuned.

5 Comments:

Blogger Stacey said...

Oooooh - you're going to be apprenticing at a tattoo place? You shouldn't tell me these things. I have a few pieces that I want done/tweaked/removed. When do you start working at Pino Bros?

5:17 PM  
Blogger Hooker said...

I'm gonna start going there every chance I get as soon as the weekend. Actually tattooing, I'm not sure. I'll let you know for sure though.

5:38 PM  
Blogger Stacey said...

Awesome. I'll start saving. :)

5:47 PM  
Blogger Stacey said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5:47 PM  
Anonymous Roger said...

My eldest daughter wants to become a tattoo artist as well. We used to take the kids to go look at magazines when they were young, and the others would be looking at kid's books or gaming magazines... but not her. tattoo mags.

Both my wife and I have several, so the kids have been around it forever. We're actually encouraging her as she does have a talent for it.

I'd love to see your work, hooker.

12:49 PM  

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