Campbell's Soup at Hand

These commercials. Good Christ. I'm sorry. I usually blog after I wake up or just after I got into work. Tonight it's after a dumping a gaggle of Shipyard Pumpkinhead Ale's down my throat while sitting on the couch with the t.v. on, putting my website together.

A commercial has repeated a few times during Conan. It's for Campbell's little Soup at Hand portable soup cups.



These little shitty things. Creamy chicken flavor. Sign me up. Also try... Milky beef. Fish nougat.

The commercial shows a business dude and a business chick walking through a lobby towards a revolving door. The chick is showing the dude pictures of some sort and blabbing on. The dude is loudly moaning while sucking the soup out of a Campbell's Soup at Goddam Hand. You moan while you eat? Moan about how good the food is... you should be forced to sit in a chair and have a giggling John Madden rub his bare, warm penis all over your face.

So the chick walks through the door, but the dude, still moaning into his soup can, gets stuck in the revolving door! Because the soup is that good.

There's another commercial for this product. Same dude. He's falling back in his office chair every day of the week because he keeps finishing the last of his awesome microwavable soup.

I want to force the dude who wrote these commercials, at gun point, to moan while he hungrily laps at Elliot Gould's pouting man breasts while his parents watch. I want it to be on camera. I want to hack the Campbell's website. I want to put the video up there.

I don't want to watch this character moan into his soup anymore.

I'm not really that angry. I'm done. Sorry. I just want to ensure that the next time you see one of these Soup at Hand's at your local grocer, you're going to think of Elliot Gould's breasts.